CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

WOMENRISE: FROM SELFISHNESS TO SELFLESSNESS

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” — Philippians 2:3

True rising begins within. A woman may acquire education, build a successful career, establish a business, occupy a respected position, gain influence or become visible to thousands of people, yet still remain underdeveloped in one of the most important areas of life: character. External advancement does not automatically produce internal maturity. In fact, the higher a woman rises, the more important her character becomes, because influence amplifies whatever is already present within her. If selfishness governs her heart, influence may simply give that selfishness a larger platform. If wisdom, humility and compassion govern her life, influence can become a channel through which other people are strengthened.

This is why WomenRise must move beyond the language of personal advancement to the deeper question of contribution. The woman who is constantly asking, “What can I get?” eventually becomes limited by the boundaries of her own interests. But the woman who begins to ask, “What can my life contribute?” discovers a larger dimension of influence. Selfishness asks, How does this benefit me? Selflessness asks, How can what I have become a blessing to someone else? Selfishness is preoccupied with recognition; selflessness is concerned with impact. Selfishness can interpret another woman's progress as a threat, while selflessness can see another woman's progress as evidence that possibility is expanding.

This does not mean that a woman should abandon ambition. Ambition, properly directed, can be a force for growth, excellence and achievement. The problem is not wanting to succeed; the problem begins when success becomes detached from responsibility. A woman can desire financial stability, professional advancement, leadership, recognition and achievement while still maintaining a generous spirit. The question is what governs her ambition. Is she trying to prove that she is better than everyone else, or is she developing her abilities so that she can create value? Is she pursuing a position merely for status, or does she understand the responsibility that comes with occupying that position? The mature woman does not kill ambition; she disciplines it and places it under purpose.

The lives of biblical women help us understand this distinction. Scripture does not present womanhood merely through appearance, status or possession. It presents women whose strength was revealed through faithfulness, courage, service, wisdom and responsibility. Ruth, Esther and Dorcas demonstrate three different expressions of selflessness: Ruth served through loyalty, Esther served through courageous influence, and Dorcas served through practical compassion. Their circumstances were different, their assignments were different, and their expressions of strength were different, but each woman used what she had for something greater than herself.

Ruth's story is particularly instructive because her greatest act of selflessness occurred before she knew what her future would become. After losing her husband, Ruth could have returned to the familiarity of Moab and pursued a future independent of Naomi. Instead, she chose to remain with her widowed mother-in-law, saying, “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay” (Ruth 1:16). At that moment, she did not know that Bethlehem would become the beginning of a new chapter. She did not know Boaz was waiting in her future. She did not know that her story would eventually become part of the genealogy through which the Messiah would come. She simply chose faithfulness when the outcome was uncertain.

That principle remains relevant to the modern woman. Not every meaningful opportunity will announce its future benefits in advance. Sometimes the decision to remain faithful, to support someone, to complete an assignment, to serve diligently or to do what is right may not produce immediate recognition. In a culture increasingly attracted to quick results, viral visibility and instant reward, faithfulness can appear ordinary. Yet many significant lives are built through years of doing things that do not immediately attract applause. Ruth reminds us that rising sometimes begins with staying faithful when there is no guarantee of immediate reward.

Selflessness is therefore not merely an emotional attitude; it is expressed through decisions. In the workplace, for example, it may mean sharing information that could make another colleague more effective instead of deliberately withholding it to protect one's advantage. It may mean giving credit to the person whose work contributed to a successful project, recommending a younger professional for an opportunity, or teaching someone a skill that took years to acquire. A woman who constantly protects her position by keeping everyone around her dependent may preserve authority for a season, but she is not necessarily building leadership. The stronger form of leadership is the ability to make other people more capable.

The same principle applies to business. A woman in entrepreneurship does not have to sacrifice profitability to demonstrate selflessness. Responsible selflessness can be expressed through creating employment, paying workers fairly, training staff, treating customers honestly, solving genuine problems and building systems that create value beyond the founder herself. The question is not simply, How much money am I making? but also, What value am I creating, and who benefits from it? A business can be profitable and still be socially responsible. A successful woman can build wealth while also building people.

Esther provides another dimension of this principle. Her position as queen gave her access that many others did not have, but her influence became significant when she was willing to use that access on behalf of people whose lives were threatened. Mordecai's challenge in Esther 4:14—“Who knows whether you have come to the kingdom for such a time as this?”—forced her to confront the responsibility attached to her position. Esther eventually responded with courage: “If I perish, I perish” (Esther 4:16).

Her story demonstrates that access creates responsibility. If a woman has influence, she should ask what that influence is accomplishing. If she has professional connections, can she open a legitimate door for someone qualified? If she has a platform, can she use it to educate rather than merely entertain? If she has financial capacity, can she help create opportunities? If she occupies a leadership position, does her leadership strengthen the institution or simply strengthen her personal reputation?

Influence becomes meaningful when it becomes useful.

This principle is especially important in an age where visibility can be mistaken for influence. Social media can make a person visible within minutes, but visibility and value are not the same thing. A woman may have thousands of followers and still have little positive influence over the people who follow her. Another may have a smaller audience but consistently educate, encourage, employ, mentor and develop people. The size of the platform is not the only measure of its significance. What matters is what happens to people because the platform exists.

The digital world therefore provides another practical test of selflessness. Before reposting information, the responsible woman asks whether it is accurate. Before exposing another person's mistake for engagement, she considers whether she is turning someone's pain into content. Before attacking someone publicly, she considers whether her words are correcting a problem or simply feeding outrage. Before using another woman's achievement as an opportunity for comparison, she can choose to celebrate it. Digital influence requires digital character.

Dorcas, known as Tabitha, offers perhaps the quietest but most practical picture of selflessness. Acts 9:36 describes her as a woman “full of good works and charitable deeds.” Her influence was not built around a public title or a spectacular platform. When she died, the widows she had served showed Peter the garments she had made for them. Her work had become evidence of her love.

There is something profoundly instructive about this. Not every meaningful contribution will become a headline. Some of the most important things a woman will ever do may never appear on social media. She may teach a child, encourage a struggling friend, train a younger colleague, support a family member, employ someone who needs an opportunity, help a neighbour, volunteer her professional skill or quietly provide assistance to someone facing difficulty. These actions may appear small, but lives are often changed through precisely such acts.

Selflessness therefore should not be measured only by dramatic sacrifice. It is often revealed in ordinary choices. It is keeping your word. It is listening when you would rather speak. It is acknowledging another person's contribution. It is apologising when you are wrong. It is sharing useful knowledge. It is checking on someone who is struggling. It is refusing to sabotage another woman's opportunity simply because you were not selected. It is recommending someone without demanding an immediate return. It is celebrating another person's progress without turning her success into a measurement of your own worth.

This becomes particularly important among women. Comparison can quietly transform relationships that should have become partnerships. A woman may admire another woman's achievement but become uncomfortable when that achievement approaches her own territory. She may withhold information, minimise another woman's success, discourage her ambition or secretly hope that she fails. Such behaviour may not always be openly hostile; sometimes it appears as subtle competition, unnecessary criticism or unwillingness to collaborate.

The WomenRise woman must learn another way. Another woman's success does not automatically reduce her own possibilities. There is room for different women to lead, build, teach, create, serve, earn and influence in different ways. Instead of asking, Why is she ahead of me?, a healthier question may sometimes be, What can I learn from her journey? And beyond learning, there is an even deeper question: How can I contribute to someone else's journey?

This is where selflessness becomes practical leadership. A professional can mentor a younger colleague. An entrepreneur can create employment. A teacher can develop minds rather than merely complete a syllabus. A journalist can use information responsibly rather than manufacture controversy for attention. A lawyer can use professional competence to defend justice. A doctor can preserve dignity alongside treating illness. A public servant can strengthen institutions rather than use office solely for personal advantage. A mother can nurture values without losing sight of her own development. A student can share knowledge rather than deliberately keeping classmates uninformed. A woman in church or community service can use her gifts to build people rather than compete for recognition.

The common thread is contribution.

Yet selflessness must be properly understood. It does not mean that a woman should become available for exploitation. It does not require her to tolerate abuse, abandon healthy boundaries, neglect legitimate responsibilities or continuously sacrifice her wellbeing to satisfy people who refuse to take responsibility for themselves. There is a difference between serving others and surrendering oneself to unhealthy demands. A woman can be generous and still say no. She can love people and maintain boundaries. She can support others while protecting her time, finances, health, values and purpose.

This distinction is critical because some women have been conditioned to believe that goodness requires endless availability. They may feel guilty when they rest, guilty when they decline requests, guilty when they invest in themselves or guilty when they pursue their own legitimate ambitions. But responsible selflessness is not self-erasure. It is strength under direction. It is the ability to give without losing wisdom and to serve without abandoning identity.

This is also where financial wisdom becomes important. A woman who wants to help everyone without developing financial discipline may eventually become unable to help anyone sustainably. Giving should not be driven entirely by emotional pressure. A financially responsible woman can support family members without destroying her own financial stability. She can give without borrowing merely to impress people. She can help someone start a business while also teaching them how to manage it. She can provide temporary support without creating permanent dependency.

There is wisdom in asking not only, What can I give today? but also, What can I help this person become capable of doing tomorrow? Sometimes the greatest gift is not a handout but knowledge, mentorship, connection, training or an opportunity to become productive.

Selflessness also requires humility. A woman may possess education, wealth, beauty, professional status, spiritual gifts or social influence, but these things become dangerous when they convince her that she is superior to others. Humility does not mean denying one's abilities. It means understanding that ability carries responsibility. It allows a woman to remain teachable even after becoming accomplished.

This is why the transformation from selfishness to selflessness begins internally. It involves surrender, renewal, humility, compassion, service, sacrifice, influence and eventually legacy. A woman must first recognise the places where insecurity, pride, jealousy, entitlement or the need for validation may be controlling her decisions. The purpose is not condemnation; it is transformation. Growth begins when a person becomes honest enough to examine herself.

A successful woman once found herself becoming increasingly uncomfortable whenever younger women advanced around her. She had spent years building her career and believed she had earned her position. Yet instead of becoming a source of encouragement, she began withholding information and becoming unnecessarily competitive. Eventually, she recognised that her insecurity was turning her experience into a barrier for others. She began mentoring younger women, sharing knowledge, recommending qualified colleagues and celebrating their progress. Her influence changed because her definition of success changed. She no longer asked only, How far can I go? She began asking, How far can we go if I help others grow?

That question captures the heart of WomenRise.

Before asking God for a larger platform, a woman should be willing to develop a larger heart. Before seeking greater influence, she should examine her character. Before asking why another woman has been given an opportunity, she should consider whether she can become the kind of person who helps others succeed. Before demanding recognition, she should learn to serve faithfully even when nobody is watching.

The woman in the mirror must therefore become part of the conversation. What happens inside you when another woman receives the opportunity you wanted? What happens when someone younger than you becomes successful? Can you celebrate without comparing? Can you correct without humiliating? Can you lead without intimidating? Can you succeed without becoming inaccessible? Can you give without needing everyone to know that you gave?

These questions are not designed to produce perfection. They are designed to produce awareness.

Selflessness is ultimately a decision about what kind of woman one intends to become. It is choosing contribution over constant comparison, collaboration over unnecessary competition, service over self-importance and legacy over applause. It is understanding that the value of a woman's rise cannot be measured only by the height she reaches, but also by the number of people whose lives become stronger because she rose.

The practical test is simple: look at the spaces you occupy and ask what changes because you are there. In your family, are people strengthened? In your workplace, are people developed? In your business, are people treated with dignity? In your friendships, are people safe to grow? In your community, are you contributing solutions? Online, are you adding knowledge or merely adding noise? In leadership, are you building successors? In your faith, is your spirituality producing service as well as personal conviction?

These questions turn selflessness from an abstract virtue into a daily practice.

For the woman reading this chapter, the challenge is not to perform kindness for recognition. It is to begin deliberately. Share knowledge that could help someone. Recommend a qualified woman for an opportunity. Give credit where it belongs. Mentor someone who is willing to learn. Support another woman's legitimate ambition. Use your professional skill to solve a problem. Listen without making every conversation about yourself. Celebrate someone else's progress. Correct with dignity. Give wisely. Create opportunities where you can. And when you have the capacity to lift someone, do not allow insecurity to convince you that their rising will diminish yours.

At the end of each week, it is worth asking: Whom did I help? What did I contribute? Whose capacity increased because of my influence? Did I celebrate someone else's progress without comparing it with mine? Did I give because I genuinely wanted to serve, or because I wanted recognition? Did my presence make someone stronger, wiser, more confident or better prepared?

These questions can gradually reshape a woman's understanding of success.

The highest expression of rising is not simply reaching a higher place. It is becoming the kind of woman whose presence makes other people believe that they, too, can rise. Ruth's loyalty opened the way to a new future. Esther's courage protected others. Dorcas' service left tangible evidence of compassion. Their stories remind us that influence becomes meaningful when it is converted into contribution.

A woman who rises only for herself eventually reaches the limits of herself. But a woman whose growth creates room for others begins to participate in something larger than personal achievement. Her knowledge becomes a resource. Her experience becomes mentorship. Her position becomes opportunity. Her wealth becomes stewardship. Her voice becomes responsibility. Her influence becomes service. Her life becomes a pathway through which others can move forward.

This is the deeper meaning of WomenRise.

The question is not only, “How high can I rise?”

It is also:

Who can rise because I rose?

Who can become stronger because I became stronger?

Who can become wiser because I learned?

Who can find an opportunity because I opened a door?

Who can discover purpose because I took the time to guide them?

When these questions begin to shape a woman's decisions, success acquires a different meaning. She no longer measures her life only by what she owns, where she works, how many people know her name or how impressive her achievements appear. She begins to measure it by what her life contributes.

Rise in strength. Rise in wisdom. Rise in character. Rise in capacity. Rise in purpose.

But as you rise, make room for others to rise with you.

Because the woman who rises rightly does not merely occupy higher ground.

She creates higher ground for others.